“You know, I think it’s like, against the fucking law to have a hockey team manager who can’t skate.”

“Why’re you doin’ this to me, Shits? I thought we were bros.”

“Y’all ever notice Jack makes that one face when he shoots?”

Being a freshman on the Samwell Hockey team means sometimes the upperclassmen get really excited about squishing your face.

“Aw gosh, Nick, we probably shoulda gotten more work done on Canada Day, eh?”

“Come on there, Jean Claude. Don’t cha know every day’s Canada Day?”

A message from e-staffs

Hey there! Question for ya: what would Bitty do when the World Cup is on, but there are also desserts for the 4th of July to be made? I might have just been looking up how to make mini cherry pies all dressed in red, white, and blue, instead of watching the game... Just thought you might appreciate that(would the other guys get into the World Cup as well?).

I think he gave up on World Cup desserts, unfortunately:

Y’all, I wanna make some #worldcup themed cookies, but no one in my neck of the woods has got that World Cup Fever. :(

— Eric Bittle (@omgcheckplease) June 19, 2014

Oh! I’ll make some & ship ‘em up to Ransom & Holster. I wonder if Jack’s too busy with training camp…I wonder if Jack even likes cookies.

— Eric Bittle (@omgcheckplease) June 19, 2014

And according to Bitty, the Boys do in fact have World Cup fever:

Rans & Holster keep texting me about the #WorldCup2014. Y’all—I’m barely watching US games, why do you think I’m watching Mexico v.Croatia?

— Eric Bittle (@omgcheckplease) June 23, 2014

But yes. Eric Bittle has a twitter account! (•Ì€á´—•Ì)Ùˆ Ì‘Ì‘

“Shitty. Are you even allowed to talk about law school in a crop top.”

A message from miyedoench

Yo, Holster, talk me some 30Rock. Liz or Jenna? Sad it ended? Opinions on clear dishwashers? Do you have a GE trivection oven—if not, do you want one? Any other shows you watch, like, recommend? Ever been to NBC Studios—taken the tour, skated outside it in winter, etc.? How would you like a Tracy Jordan talking bobble head? Does your fridge contain nightcheese? What do you think about Cleveland? Is there anyone you would wolf your Teamster sub for?

Holster grabs Ransom by the shoulders. “Ransom!! Dude! Cheers marathon? Just like back when we were frogs?”

“I would literally rather inject Cholula into my asshole.”

“look who made it down 4 canada day!!”

Countdown to the chop.

Adam Birkholtz, everyone.