A message from Anonymous

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE. I think you broke my brain. Can I give you all the money? (in other words, will you be publishing this sometime in the future? because I would buy a thousand copies)

;_; Thanks! I won’t be publishing any time soon (and I probably won’t have merch soon either, unfortunately). Though I have been entertaining the thought of making a mini-comic and printing it super cheap and sending it to you guys? I have many ideas.

A message from coraltum

Random flyby saying that I freaking adore your comic- and my question is: how tall are these guys compared to each other (apart from Bits who we all know is a petite babby)?

YES!! I have been waiting for this question.

You can actually see the relative heights of the Boys in the Hockey Shit with R&H comic on nicknames:

Everything’s relative, because my proportions are ~wacky~. And I often do not succeed in sticking to their height/size differences in the comic and extras.  BUT if I did, this is how the Boys would look like standing next to each other. When it comes to weight, Holster and Ransom are *around* 220lb and 210Ib, Shitty’s like 160lb, Jack’s probably riding 200lb, and Bitty’s 125lb.  (Maybe. If he’s been eating protein.) I had to reference a lot of college hockey rosters to cook up these heights and weights. (And a lot of figure skating websites.)

AND YO IT’S LARDO. She’s in the next comic. Now is a good time to apologize for not updating.

A message from Anonymous

does bitty sound like a young jack mcbrayer or am i projecting

Yes, but no where near as goofy and more boyish? With frequent lapses into hair salon levels of sassiness. 

People seem to be curious about this so:

Bitty - Bitty has a Georgian accent that inevitably gets more country when he’s drunk. He can sing okay, but he mostly likes to sing in a quiet falsetto to Beyoncé while he’s baking. So maybe Jack McBrayer, but barely.  I’d actually say closer to this girl. Tenor. A lilting southern belle.

Ransom-  I’m Nigerian, so I definitely know that if I heard Ransom talk I’d be able to tell he was Nigerian. Which may not make any sense, but there’s this weird quality you get growing up? But Ransom sounds like every hockey kid from Toronto, so imagine Wayne Simmonds? He can sing very well too, which Holster thinks is pretty great. Baritone. Bubbly lacrosse bro.

Holster - Holster basically has the same speech patterns as Cliff from Cheers, but with everything taken down an octave and a tiny bit slower. (So perhaps closer to Hamm from Toy Story 2)  Holster is also super loud. (He can’t help it; he projects.) Holster sings very well because he also knows how to play piano! And he’s one of those dicks who always tells people when they’re sharp or flat. (I swear I’m going to make an extra about this.) Bass. If the mailman from Cheers was 6'4" and played hockey and was a fucking bro.

ETA: I’m pretty sure Holster can do a spot-on Patrick Star impression and Ransom can do a decent Spongebob and this is 10% of the reason why they can’t sit next to each other in formal settings. “Pst. Hey. Hey, Rans. Is may-on-naise an instrument?”

Jack -  Jack sounds like 40% Claude Giroux and 60% Sidney Crosby? If that makes sense. A standard Canadian accent but close to Kris Letang’s (from 1/5/14). Guy has a slight French-Canadian accent. He can bro-out his accent when he needs to, but after winter break, Jack comes back to Samwell sounding a bit like a foreign exchange student from speaking French so much at home. Jack can carry a tune. Baritone. French-Canadian hockey player being interviewed after losing a game.

Shitty - ??? But Shitty sounds sorta like this one guy from my Spring Break camping trip junior year of college. That’s it, sorry, I got nothing. Shitty is not allowed to sing. The boy is tone deaf. Oh God. Tenor. ???

Ages & Timelines

tarastarr1 replied to your post “What grades are the guys in? I would hope none of them are graduating soon..”

Can I ask why the age distribution? Did some of the guys not go right to college after high school?

Great question!! A lot of guys who want to play hockey professionally usually join junior leagues after graduating from high school or while they’re in their final years of high school. Holster was in the USHL for a bit before enrolling in Samwell, while Jack played in the QMJHL before taking some time off and then enrolling. The rest of boys just enrolled in Samwell right after high school. (So yeah, Holster’s older than Shitty!) 

BUT if anyone’s interested in Jack’s life and why he’s literally a grumpy old man playing with youngins, here’s a timeline:

5-12: Hockey wunderkind
12-15: Minor hockey league wunderkind
16-18: QMJHL, beginnings of alcohol and substance abuse.
18: Yay, let’s get drafted to the NHL! Lol jk, you’re a fucking mess!!!
18: Yeah how about you take a year or two off and go to rehab.
18: Go coach a mites team or something.
18: And try to deal with your daddy issues.
21: Enrolls in Samwell.

In Comic 6, I never explained all of this as precisely, but that’s the gist of it. Jack was on a fast track to being the next poster boy for the NHL but his life got derailed and now he’s at Samwell trying to redeem himself.

Will he??? *shrug*!!

A message from Anonymous

What grades are the guys in? I would hope none of them are graduating soon..

And Lardo’s also a sophomore with Ransom and Holster. Who? Wait what?

A message from penroseparticle

BITTLES. BEYONCE ALBUM DROP.

Jack lifted up his backpack just in time to shield himself from Bittle’s sudden onslaught of kicks, most of which were aimed in the general direction of his face. Bittle probably would have tried to punch him, but Ransom and Holster each had one of his arms, and Shitty his left leg. Well, it could have been worse. Only half of the Samwell library was looking at them.

“Come on, he weighs like 100 pounds,” Jack hissed. “Why is it taking all three of you to hold him down?”

“I have no fucking clue,” said Holster, trying to be quiet. “He’s summoned some kind of super-human strength. It’s like wrestling a really tiny bear.”

“FUCK, Bitty, that’s my FACE.”

Bittle simply ignored Shitty’s pain and kept kicking with his free leg.

“Fuck, bro, just say sorry!” said Ransom. “What’d you even say to piss him off?”

Jack was backed up against a wall. “He was going on and on about some new album, and how it’s a huge surprise and…” Jack looked at them. “All I did was ask ‘why is Beyoncé so important?’”

“GODDAMMIT, JACK.” shouted Holster.

And now the entire library was looking at them.

A message from polytropic-liar

Things I have now googled thanks to y'all: "How many points is a goal in hockey worth??"

A message from today-is-tuesday-too

I'm ridiculously in love with this comic and everyone in it, seriously. (And really shipping Bitty/Jack). As always, super excited for whatever comes next!!!!

Here’s some pigtail pulling:

Oh, Jack. Even when you’re nice you’re still kind of mean.

Also, I’m going to update sometime ~*late tonight*~. Or tomorrow morning. Whatever.

Thanks for reading! ;_;!!

victoriapyrrhi replied to your post:

You have captured the essence of my mother and I am both delighted and horrified and laughing and experiencing a ridiculous amount of second hand embarrassment for Bitty. Also would that Madison be Madison, GA?

Yup!

The Boys’ Hometowns:

Bitty - Madison, GA
Shitty - Cambridge, MA
Holster - Buffalo, NY
Ransom - Toronto, ON
Jack - Montreal, QC

Bitty’s a small town boy! And the rest of the guys are really from the suburbs–I’m pretty sure Shitty grew up in Brookline.

A message from schnappchat

omg he got the mullet bitty got the mullet and holster looks like he wants to be an extra in the new thor movie and jack despite his apparently quite high testosterone cant grow a beard you are amazing

NO YOU ARE AMAZING THANKS FOR READING

Yeah, man, I still can’t decide whether Bitty would be excited about the mullet? In a “yay let’s do stuff to my hair this reminds me of skating competition mornings in the dressing room” way? Or if he absolutely hates it in a “I have three cousins on my mother’s side with mullets. They live in a place called Buttermilk, Georgia and none of them have more teeth than they have fingers”…way.

Holster clearly hates his beard but then again his default expression is a slightly annoyed indifference, so who knows. Maybe he’s just pissed because Ransom probably puts crap in it while he’s sleeping.

And I’m sure Jack’s lack of beardage is something that keeps him up at night. “Why can’t I grow a beard I’m 23 my father could grow a beard when he was 23 My father won a Stanley Cup when he was 23. I am a failure.” Whomp whooomp.

These are things I think about.