Posted February 3, 2014 at 11:25 pm

A message from Anonymous

does bitty sound like a young jack mcbrayer or am i projecting

Yes, but no where near as goofy and more boyish? With frequent lapses into hair salon levels of sassiness. 

People seem to be curious about this so:

Bitty - Bitty has a Georgian accent that inevitably gets more country when he’s drunk. He can sing okay, but he mostly likes to sing in a quiet falsetto to Beyoncé while he’s baking. So maybe Jack McBrayer, but barely.  I’d actually say closer to this girl. Tenor. A lilting southern belle.

Ransom-  I’m Nigerian, so I definitely know that if I heard Ransom talk I’d be able to tell he was Nigerian. Which may not make any sense, but there’s this weird quality you get growing up? But Ransom sounds like every hockey kid from Toronto, so imagine Wayne Simmonds? He can sing very well too, which Holster thinks is pretty great. Baritone. Bubbly lacrosse bro.

Holster - Holster basically has the same speech patterns as Cliff from Cheers, but with everything taken down an octave and a tiny bit slower. (So perhaps closer to Hamm from Toy Story 2)  Holster is also super loud. (He can’t help it; he projects.) Holster sings very well because he also knows how to play piano! And he’s one of those dicks who always tells people when they’re sharp or flat. (I swear I’m going to make an extra about this.) Bass. If the mailman from Cheers was 6'4" and played hockey and was a fucking bro.

ETA: I’m pretty sure Holster can do a spot-on Patrick Star impression and Ransom can do a decent Spongebob and this is 10% of the reason why they can’t sit next to each other in formal settings. “Pst. Hey. Hey, Rans. Is may-on-naise an instrument?”

Jack -  Jack sounds like 40% Claude Giroux and 60% Sidney Crosby? If that makes sense. A standard Canadian accent but close to Kris Letang’s (from 1/5/14). Guy has a slight French-Canadian accent. He can bro-out his accent when he needs to, but after winter break, Jack comes back to Samwell sounding a bit like a foreign exchange student from speaking French so much at home. Jack can carry a tune. Baritone. French-Canadian hockey player being interviewed after losing a game.

Shitty - ??? But Shitty sounds sorta like this one guy from my Spring Break camping trip junior year of college. That’s it, sorry, I got nothing. Shitty is not allowed to sing. The boy is tone deaf. Oh God. Tenor. ???